I hate to repeat myself but I had a usual check-up in January 24, 2011 (for anyone who has not read)
A referral for a mammogram was given to me.
Then abnormal results were found in my lab work and it was recommended I come back in 6 months
So six months ended in July - I got the appointment card and ignored it because my mom had to have minor surgery on her throat (she had cancer about 10 years ago) and my son was in "rehab"
I then got a letter from the hospital this month (August) - I have two lumps under my right arm and I am broke out in a rash all over that bleeds in spots and my skin has tore open in a few places on my wrists.
For years I have not felt good anyway and been under a lot of stress.
I have before stated that I would avoid cancer screenings much less get treatment-MY MIND HAS NOT CHANGED...
I will be having to drop my health insurance and will possibly lose my house.
I have been able to get the yard cleaned up - gecko lizards are hatching out of my compost box :) and I have a small garden - got some peas and beans out of it.
I am getting a little more work and will be able to collect disability shortly
I REFUSE TO BECOME A BURDEN ON MY LOVED ONES - they have exhausted all means helping me and my family anyway
I have found out where uninsured people can get medical care and I got a discount prescription card
and besides a new kind of that party drug "Ecstacy" or "X" may be approved for cancer treatment and that sounds dangerous, the new prescription drug abuse is on the way like with rx marijuana...
and maybe all that lumps and rash is just nothing anyway
I am at peace with myself and believe no one will hurt too bad over me because I have disappointed my family, failed with my kids and most of all disappointed in myself for not being able to support my family, financially or emotionally. And I have not been able to keep up the family home.
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